I Want to Marry Britney Spears

Someone has openly made comments on having a crush on Britney Spears – today! of all times to like her!

Electronica musician Moby (pictured above in the cover of this Go! The Very Best of Moby album) announced recently that he has liked the trainwreck so much that now he would not hesitate to marry her.

“She’s like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure,” the musician said in an interview published in the supermarket tabloid Sun. “The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late ’90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat.”

For those boggled by the Tennessee Williams reference: Tennessee Williams was an award winning 20^th century American playwright who is famous for the play “A Streetcar Named Desire” which starred young Marlon Brando – the play won the writer the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1948. It is a tragedy, like almost all of his works – a reference used by Moby to the trainwreck ride of a life that Britney Spears is known for nowadays.

We all know how she is now, right? His father James Spears and attorney Andrew Wallete were named co-conservators of Britney’s estate – and by “estate,” we mean life. She just couldn’t function normally anymore.

The conservatorship was granted after the disaster popstar was twice hospitalized in a psychiatric facility. Conservatorships are imposed on people deemed unable to take care of themselves or their affairs.

A tragedy indeed! Don’t tell me you saw this coming early in her career? Macaulay Culkin turned out better!

Although her image has been improving lately with a hit guest appearance in “How I Met Your Mother” (look at her most recent photo above: she just came out of a known salon in Hollywood looking a bit “better” – aside from the withered looking hand), it still doesn’t appear to be good enough to be a marrying type for most normal people. Her ex-husband Kevin Federline was deemed more suitable to take care of their two kids! Look at him. Poor kids.

Moby aka Voodoo Child, Barracuda, Brainstorm, UHF, The Brotherhood, DJ Cake, Lopez, Mindstorm, Schaumgummi, and Pippy Baliunas (I like this the most) is far from normal though, so it just might work.

“I’m sort of a libertarian,” he said in another interview. “People should be able to do what they want. I ultimately defer the wisdom to an adult to make their own choices. If someone wants to do drugs, I think it’s their own business and not the business of the state.”

Maybe Britney is his “perfect drug”?

Mody added that many of Britney’s problems stemmed out from her childhood.

“She became an international icon aged 16…it’s breaking my heart because ultimately she’s not doing things on a symbolic level,” he said. “Cutting your hair off is symbolic. Losing your children and becoming a drug addict is not.”

Oh, Moby… You are contradicting yourself.

It’s a perfect match!

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